difficult…aka i hate anything with a penis
I hate guys. Hate them hate them hate them.
Too bad I have an extremely difficult time living without them. The one I really want is too far out of reach and the ones available are either unwanted or off limits. Dumb. Guys are just like accidents: wrong place, wrong time. I was with the wrong guy at the right time and the right guy at the wrong time. IF ONLY THIS WAS THE RIGHT TIME. Now my thoughts consist of the right guy and when I may see him again, I’m thinking maybe in MORE THAN A MONTH. Why can’t he just like me? Ok, so I know that he does, but the problem is, I don’t know how much and I sound like I’m in eighth grade (Ok so that’s two problems). I feel super insecure because of this, why am I letting a guy get to me so much? There are plenty of other fish in the sea and he’s just one of them blah blah blahy. I wish I could just let it go. Pretend like it all never happened, but it did and my brain (not to mention my heart) refuses to forget.
I hope he doesn’t find anyone else while he’s away and I hope that I don’t find anyone while I’m away, but I guess that’s what I get for messing with a guy with way less experience. He doesn’t realize that it’s all not like this. Not every couple has a connection like we had. Maybe all it needs is time.
I hate men. I hate boys. I am turning into an asexual because I am not attracted to women. Then I won’t have to worry about any of this. Dammit.
Desperation is the source of all stupidity.
