More Complications
The closer I get to leaving the more I want to go somewhere else. I am having serious problems with this, less than two weeks to go and looking forward to it yet knowing that it is taking me farther from where I want to be. Or more who I want to be with. This sucks because I still know that it could not work under these circumstances, even if I were to stay put.
The worst part is we both want it, we both miss each other and still we both are resisting everything that tells us to run to each other.
After today I realize that these feelings aren’t going away anytime soon, and that something saved me from making two large mistakes. I am not a superstitious person but I can’t help but wonder if it is fate, or that subconsciously that is the exact energy that I am sending out into the universe: don’t get involved with me and for my own good stop me because my heart belongs to someone else. I am suffering even more from this not so broken heart but I am so thankful for what happened today. Today I struck luck, and I just want to say thank-you, thank-you for saving from myself and never giving in. You saved me.
But he’s still gone and I am leaving, and I am convinced that unless this is resolved I am going to die an emotional death, like Romeo and Juliet. But like Romeo and Juliet I know I wouldn’t have it any other way, at least I know he still cares and, as of now, I would not give that knowledge to the world.
